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I’m going to start col­lect­ing high­lighters. Mark my words. more / comment…
I’m at JFK and the man in front of me has just col­lapsed on the lug­gage carousel. He’s com­ing round slow­ly. more / comment…
We’ve got the cheap­est brake repairs in town. Once you start com­ing here, you won’t be able to stop. more / comment…
I won a con­test at the state fair for grow­ing the biggest pick­le. It was kind of a big dill. more / comment…
My moth­er joined a pyra­mid scheme. Now I call her Mum­my. more / comment…
Know what you call a magi­cian who has lost his mag­ic? Ian. more / comment…
I have the mem­o­ry of an ele­phant. I remem­ber when I went to the zoo and saw an ele­phant. more / comment…
I was going to post a joke about sled­ding, but things went down­hill quick­ly. more / comment…
Pre- means before. Post- means after. To use both pre­fix­es togeth­er would be pre­pos­ter­ous. more / comment…
I want­ed a whis­tle: I bought a wood­en whis­tle but it wood­en whis­tle. Then I bought a steel whis­tle but it steel wood­en whis­tle. So I bought a lead whis­tle but it steel wood­en lead me whis­tle. more / comment…
I live in Wyoming so I called my insur­ance to ask what would hap­pen if Yel­low­stone ever erupt­ed. They said not to wor­ry, I would be cov­ered. more / comment…
Just lost my job at Ikea. I kept screw­ing things up. more / comment…