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What kind of noise does a train make? A low commotion. more / comment…

Know what soap is good if you want to keep men away? Deter-gent. more / comment…

Where do whales go when they need braces? An orca-dontist. more / comment…

On weekends, I like to play chess with elderly men in the park. But it’s becoming increasingly harder to find exactly 32 of them. more / comment…

Please don’t wear odd and obscure perfumes and colognes. Common scents, people! more / comment…

If you haven’t heard the legend of the medieval Japanese warriors… allow me to Samurais it for you. more / comment…

“Does this uniform make me look fat?” — Insecurity guard more / comment…

I’ve heard that head injuries can cause memory loss, but I still don’t wear a bike helmet. I don’t even remember the last time I fell off my bike. more / comment…

Heard about the new self-help group for people who talk too much? On and on anon. more / comment…

Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I pay the guy my $2 and he says, “Once upon a time there was this lobster…” more / comment…

I’m going to start collecting highlighters. Mark my words. more / comment…

I’m at JFK and the man in front of me has just collapsed on the luggage carousel. He’s coming round slowly. more / comment…