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Where do whales go when they need braces? An orca-dontist. more / comment…
On weekends, I like to play chess with elderly men in the park. But it’s becoming increasingly harder to find exactly 32 of them. more / comment…
Please don’t wear odd and obscure perfumes and colognes. Common scents, people! more / comment…
If you haven’t heard the legend of the medieval Japanese warriors… allow me to Samurais it for you. more / comment…
“Does this uniform make me look fat?” — Insecurity guard more / comment…
I’ve heard that head injuries can cause memory loss, but I still don’t wear a bike helmet. I don’t even remember the last time I fell off my bike. more / comment…
Heard about the new self-help group for people who talk too much? On and on anon. more / comment…
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I pay the guy my $2 and he says, “Once upon a time there was this lobster…” more / comment…
I’m going to start collecting highlighters. Mark my words. more / comment…
I’m at JFK and the man in front of me has just collapsed on the luggage carousel. He’s coming round slowly. more / comment…
We’ve got the cheapest brake repairs in town. Once you start coming here, you won’t be able to stop. more / comment…
I won a contest at the state fair for growing the biggest pickle. It was kind of a big dill. more / comment…