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How do pirates get rid of their surplus booty? Yarrrrdsale. more / comment…

I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes. I call him Dr. Awkward. more / comment…

I’m done being a people pleaser. If everyone’s OK with that. more / comment…

My wife insisted on whisking flour into the melted butter. I told her she would roux the day. more / comment…

Loud laughing is not permitted in Hawaii. Just a low ha. more / comment…

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long. more / comment…

What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor? An optical Aleutian. more / comment…

The adjective for metal is metallic. But not so for iron… which is ironic. more / comment…

Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban. more / comment…

I’ve got a friend who reckons he can make high cuisine out of stock cubes. What an Oxo moron. more / comment…

What do you call a laughing motorbike? Yamahahaha. more / comment…

Know what cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese. more / comment…