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I’m going to start collecting highlighters. Mark my words. more / comment…
I’m at JFK and the man in front of me has just collapsed on the luggage carousel. He’s coming round slowly. more / comment…
We’ve got the cheapest brake repairs in town. Once you start coming here, you won’t be able to stop. more / comment…
I won a contest at the state fair for growing the biggest pickle. It was kind of a big dill. more / comment…
My mother joined a pyramid scheme. Now I call her Mummy. more / comment…
Know what you call a magician who has lost his magic? Ian. more / comment…
I have the memory of an elephant. I remember when I went to the zoo and saw an elephant. more / comment…
I was going to post a joke about sledding, but things went downhill quickly. more / comment…
Pre- means before. Post- means after. To use both prefixes together would be preposterous. more / comment…
I wanted a whistle: I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle. Then I bought a steel whistle but it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle but it steel wooden lead me whistle. more / comment…
I live in Wyoming so I called my insurance to ask what would happen if Yellowstone ever erupted. They said not to worry, I would be covered. more / comment…
Just lost my job at Ikea. I kept screwing things up. more / comment…