ba-dum
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sad trom-
bone
Click either one
as need­ed
How many Columbians does it take to change a light­bulb? Juan. more / com­ment…
I had to quit my job at the shoe recy­cling fac­to­ry. It was just sole destroy­ing. more / com­ment…
I hate neg­a­tive num­bers and will stop at noth­ing to avoid them. more / com­ment…
I went to Barnes & Noble and asked the woman for a book about tur­tles, she said “Hard­back?” and I was like, “Yeah and lit­tle heads.” (h/t Mark Sim­mons) more / com­ment…
Due to the state of the econ­o­my, prof­iteroles will now be called deficiteroles. more / com­ment…
I think it’s wrong that only one com­pa­ny makes the game Monop­oly. more / com­ment…
Why don’t you ever see hip­popota­mus hid­ing in trees? Because they’re real­ly good at it. more / com­ment…
A lot of peo­ple cry when they cut onions. The trick is not to form an emo­tion­al bond. more / com­ment…
What do you call a tac­i­turn police­man guard­ing an ancient Egypt­ian Chris­t­ian cat­a­comb? A cryp­tic cop in a Cop­tic crypt. more / com­ment…
What do astrologers get when they lose? A con­stel­la­tion prize. more / com­ment…
Why are they laugh­ing? Moc’ing me! more / com­ment…
“Doc­tor, there’s a patient on line 1 who says he’s invis­i­ble.“ ”Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.” more / com­ment…