ba-dum
tss
sad trom-
bone
Click either one
as need­ed
Every morn­ing on my way to work, I slip on the frozen news­pa­per left out­side my front door. I must have fall­en on hard Times. more / comment…
Did you know that koalas aren’t actu­al­ly bears? They don’t meet the koalafi­ca­tions. more / comment…
What kind of noise does a train make? A low com­mo­tion. more / comment…
Know what soap is good if you want to keep men away? Deter-gent. more / comment…
Where do whales go when they need braces? An orca-don­tist. more / comment…
On week­ends, I like to play chess with elder­ly men in the park. But it’s becom­ing increas­ing­ly hard­er to find exact­ly 32 of them. more / comment…
Please don’t wear odd and obscure per­fumes and colognes. Com­mon scents, peo­ple! more / comment…
If you haven’t heard the leg­end of the medieval Japan­ese war­riors… allow me to Samu­rais it for you. more / comment…
“Does this uni­form make me look fat?” — Inse­cu­ri­ty guard more / comment…
I’ve heard that head injuries can cause mem­o­ry loss, but I still don’t wear a bike hel­met. I don’t even remem­ber the last time I fell off my bike. more / comment…
Heard about the new self-help group for peo­ple who talk too much? On and on anon. more / comment…
Stopped by a road­side stand that said lob­ster tails $2. I pay the guy my $2 and he says, “Once upon a time there was this lob­ster…” more / comment…