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My friend is quite the inventor. He’s managed to create a lightbulb powered only by wordplays. Now he’s got a socket full of punshine. more / comment…
To the person who stole my place in line: I’m after you now. more / comment…
It’s against the rules for NFL players to own a duck. It’s a personal fowl. more / comment…
My dyslexia has reached a new owl. more / comment…
Professional mirror photography. It’s a job I could really see myself doing. more / comment…
I really love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back. more / comment…
Ever used WD40 to get rid of mice? It doesn’t work, but it does stop them squeaking. more / comment…
My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again. Man, I sure am lucky! I mean, first I win the lottery and now this! more / comment…
I keep calling my wife Delilah even though her name is Delia. I keep calling our lawn “the green, green grass of home.” And worst of all, every time I see a cat, I can’t help but ask, “What’s new, pussycat?” It turns out I have Tom Jones Syndrome. My doctor says it’s not unusual. more / comment…
Know who Old MacDonald called on to protect his farm? GI-GI-Joe. more / comment…
We started a band and called it “Books.” So no one can judge us by our covers. more / comment…
Called in blind today. Just couldn’t see myself going to work. more / comment…