ba-dum
tss
sad trom-
bone
Click either one
as need­ed
My friend was a strug­gling artist until he decid­ed to con­cen­trate on sculp­ture. He made over six fig­ures last year. more / comment…
The best thing about telepa­thy is… I know, right?! more / comment…
I asked my girl­friend if I was the only one she’s been with. She said yes, all oth­ers were either 9s or 10s. more / comment…
Ther­a­pist says, “It seems like you have an acute pho­bia of mar­riage. Do you know the symp­toms?” I reply, “Can’t say I do.” more / comment…
I went to a tat­too artist who used to be a math teacher. He real­ly did a num­ber on me. more / comment…
I was dri­ving my Sko­da the oth­er day and had to pull over. I noticed the Czech engine light was on. more / comment…
Peo­ple aren’t born with a pho­to­graph­ic mem­o­ry. It takes time to devel­op. more / comment…
Know what you call it when you eat a toast­er pas­try with­out toast­ing it first? Pop-Tartare. more / comment…
When I get a headache around my kids, I take two Advil and keep away from them just like the bot­tle says. more / comment…
I was abduct­ed by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my veg­eta­bles. Turns out I was on the moth­er­ship. more / comment…
My wife is leav­ing me because of my gam­bling addic­tion. But I know I can win her back. more / comment…
You have two wolves inside you. You need to see a spe­cial­ist. The cor­rect num­ber of wolves inside you is zero. more / comment…