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I once entered the world kleptomaniac championships. I took gold, silver, and bronze. more / comment…
Keanu Reeves and I are good friends. Just not with each other. more / comment…
Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar. They both have a great time. more / comment…
The Lord of the Rings official pinball machine doesn’t take quarters. Only Tolkiens. more / comment…
–”Hey, look at that flock of cows!” —”Herd.” –”What?” —”Herd of cows.” –”Of course I’ve heard of cows, there’s a flock of them right there!” more / comment…
Know what you call a defiant kid who doesn’t believe in Saint Nick? Rebel without a Claus. more / comment…
Thought I heard someone say “Hello” in Arabic. But it was a false Salaam. more / comment…
I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn’t work. more / comment…
Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 1 dollar. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order: Riceless. more / comment…
I don’t hold grudges. My dad held grudges… I hated him for that. more / comment…
Sam and Ella walk into a bar. The bar gets shut down by the health department. more / comment…
This year’s Fibonacci Convention was a great success. It was as big as the last two combined. more / comment…