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My friend was a struggling artist until he decided to concentrate on sculpture. He made over six figures last year. more / comment…
The best thing about telepathy is… I know, right?! more / comment…
I asked my girlfriend if I was the only one she’s been with. She said yes, all others were either 9s or 10s. more / comment…
Therapist says, “It seems like you have an acute phobia of marriage. Do you know the symptoms?” I reply, “Can’t say I do.” more / comment…
I went to a tattoo artist who used to be a math teacher. He really did a number on me. more / comment…
I was driving my Skoda the other day and had to pull over. I noticed the Czech engine light was on. more / comment…
People aren’t born with a photographic memory. It takes time to develop. more / comment…
Know what you call it when you eat a toaster pastry without toasting it first? Pop-Tartare. more / comment…
When I get a headache around my kids, I take two Advil and keep away from them just like the bottle says. more / comment…
I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership. more / comment…
My wife is leaving me because of my gambling addiction. But I know I can win her back. more / comment…
You have two wolves inside you. You need to see a specialist. The correct number of wolves inside you is zero. more / comment…