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85% of Amer­i­cans don’t know how to do basic math. Thank good­ness I’m part of the oth­er 25%. more / comment…
In the wind­storm last night I lost 1/4 of my roof. Oof. more / comment…
How does a math­ema­gi­cian dis­ap­pear? He goes “Proof!” more / comment…
Elton John’s e‑reader was swept up in a tor­na­do. Like a Kin­dle in the wind. more / comment…
Know why the pirate didn’t take a show­er before walk­ing the plank? Fig­ured he’d just wash up on shore. more / comment…
I aced all of my cours­es except for Greek Mythol­o­gy. That has always been my Achilles’ elbow. more / comment…
What do bees do when they move to a new hive? They throw a house swarm­ing par­ty. more / comment…
Law­mak­ers are con­sid­er­ing leg­is­la­tion set­ting a min­i­mum drink­ing age for soda. It’s sev­en up. more / comment…
Know why the para­noid fencer only used a sabre? He had thrust issues. more / comment…
Old Mac­Don­ald had a dol­phin. E‑E-E-E‑E more / comment…
Why did the Lone Ranger have no luck on Tin­der? No one wants a masked man date. more / comment…
Know why Noah didn’t let the worms stay in their apple when they got on the Ark? Because every­one had to trav­el in pears. more / comment…