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I tried donat­ing blood today… nev­er again! Too many ques­tions. Like, “Whose blood is this?”, “How did you get it?”, “Why is it in a buck­et?” more / comment…
It’s impor­tant to wear glass­es dur­ing math class. It improves divi­sion. more / comment…
Nev­er buy let­tuce from The Mamas and The Papas Gro­cery. All the leaves are brown. more / comment…
You know what font they use for the let­ter noo­dles in alpha­bet soup? Times New Ramen. more / comment…
Back in the 80s, I’d often dress up nice­ly, go out and order din­ner for one, see movies alone, take long soli­tary walks… Wow, I’m real­ly dat­ing myself. more / comment…
Know what they call the soft, sweet cheese served at Amer­i­can stock car rac­ing tracks? NASCAR­pone. more / comment…
I’m try­ing to get back down to my orig­i­nal weight. 8 lbs 9 oz. more / comment…
Bat­man invit­ed all the super­heroes for a dis­cus­sion on Bit­coin, but Super­man didn’t show up. Because it was cryp­to night. more / comment…
Do I have to keep mak­ing dad jokes? The short answer is No. The long answer is Nnnnnnnnnoooooooo. more / comment…
My wife Dorothy left me because of my obses­sion with Morse code. I said, “Please don’t dash, Dot!” more / comment…
Know where elder­ly Egypt­ian guys gath­ered in the ancient king­dom? At the Great Pyra­mid of Geezer. more / comment…
Every night at 8:50 sharp my wrist starts hurt­ing. Doc­tor diag­nosed a case of ten-to-ninetis. more / comment…