The dai­ly dad jokes will take a hia­tus while this faux pa tries to dis­cern whether https://dadjokes.xyz has a future. Com­ments are welcome.

I had to stop going to the local com­e­dy cof­fee shop. Too much brew ha ha.

Know what the judge said to the den­tist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and noth­ing but the tooth?

A frog got his DNA test­ed. Turns out he’s part Irish, part British, and a tad Pole.

I know why YouTube con­stant­ly rec­om­mends videos of danc­ing for­mer Vice Pres­i­dents. It’s just the Al Gore rhythm.

I cre­at­ed a dat­ing app for chick­ens. It’s not my day job, it’s just to make hens meet.

Archae­ol­o­gists are hav­ing a par­ty to cel­e­brate unearthing the largest dinosaur tib­ia ever found. It’s going to be quite the shindig.

I love eye jokes. The cornea the better.

I heard that crick­et match­es can last for days. No rest for the wick­et, I suppose.

I wish I was sin­gle for one day. Being sin­gle my whole life is exhausting.

Why do astronomers add ground beef to their sham­poo? So they can have meati­er showers.

Does every sen­tence have to men­tion some kind of veg­etable? Not necesscelery.

I tried donat­ing blood today… nev­er again! Too many ques­tions. Like, “Whose blood is this?”, “How did you get it?”, “Why is it in a bucket?”

It’s impor­tant to wear glass­es dur­ing math class. It improves division.

Nev­er buy let­tuce from The Mamas and The Papas Gro­cery. All the leaves are brown.

You know what font they use for the let­ter noo­dles in alpha­bet soup? Times New Ramen.

Back in the 80s, I’d often dress up nice­ly, go out and order din­ner for one, see movies alone, take long soli­tary walks… Wow, I’m real­ly dat­ing myself.

Know what they call the soft, sweet cheese served at Amer­i­can stock car rac­ing tracks? NASCARpone.

I’m try­ing to get back down to my orig­i­nal weight. 8 lbs 9 oz.

Bat­man invit­ed all the super­heroes for a dis­cus­sion on Bit­coin, but Super­man didn’t show up. Because it was cryp­to night.