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Author: kdawson

Saw her face

Posted on2022-06-252022-06-25Leave a comment

You know that song the BeeGees wrote about depart­ing from an api­ary? I’m a Bee Leaver…

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Ew

Posted on2022-06-07Leave a comment

Today I learned the ori­gin lan­guage for the word “mucus.” It’s Phlegmish.

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And a morel compass

Posted on2022-06-04Leave a comment

Find­ing morels requires dili­gence and per­fect tim­ing. There isn’t mush­room for error.

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Bah

Posted on2022-06-02Leave a comment

Know what keeps sheep up at night? Know­ing that so many peo­ple are count­ing on them.

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Preferably pumpkin spice flavored

Posted on2022-06-012 Comments

What’s the head­less horseman’s favorite cof­fee? De-cappuccino.

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The family that sneaks together

Posted on2022-05-312022-08-21Leave a comment

“Hey Dad, can you tell me the Japan­ese word for a nin­ja throw­ing star?” “Sure I can.”

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Essential equipment

Posted on2022-05-30Leave a comment

I don’t want to read a long book about rock climb­ing. Can you just give me the cliff notes?

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Radiocarbon FTW

Posted on2022-05-29Leave a comment

I dat­ed a girl. She was from the Bronze age.

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It’s a sign

Posted on2022-05-14Leave a comment

My wife and I let astrol­o­gy come between us. It Tau­rus apart.

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It’s in his DNS

Posted on2022-05-13Leave a comment

What does a dog call his ter­ri­to­ry? IP address.

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New Math

Posted on2022-05-12Leave a comment

85% of Amer­i­cans don’t know how to do basic math. Thank good­ness I’m part of the oth­er 25%.

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It’s on the house

Posted on2022-05-11Leave a comment

In the wind­storm last night I lost 1/4 of my roof. Oof.

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QED

Posted on2022-05-10Leave a comment

How does a math­ema­gi­cian dis­ap­pear? He goes “Proof!”

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What are the Oz?

Posted on2022-05-09Leave a comment

Elton John’s e‑reader was swept up in a tor­na­do. Like a Kin­dle in the wind.

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Plankton

Posted on2022-05-08Leave a comment

Know why the pirate didn’t take a show­er before walk­ing the plank? Fig­ured he’d just wash up on shore.

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Greek to me

Posted on2022-05-05Leave a comment

I aced all of my cours­es except for Greek Mythol­o­gy. That has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

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Here comes company

Posted on2022-05-04Leave a comment

What do bees do when they move to a new hive? They throw a house swarm­ing party.

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Drink responsibly

Posted on2022-05-03Leave a comment

Law­mak­ers are con­sid­er­ing leg­is­la­tion set­ting a min­i­mum drink­ing age for soda. It’s sev­en up.

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Don’t call me Perry

Posted on2022-05-02Leave a comment

Know why the para­noid fencer only used a sabre? He had thrust issues.

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On porpoise

Posted on2022-04-28Leave a comment

Old Mac­Don­ald had a dol­phin. E‑E‑E-E‑E

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