The daily dad jokes will take a hiatus while this faux pa tries to discern whether https://dadjokes.xyz has a future. Comments are welcome.
I had to stop going to the local comedy coffee shop. Too much brew ha ha.
Know what the judge said to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
A frog got his DNA tested. Turns out he’s part Irish, part British, and a tad Pole.
I know why YouTube constantly recommends videos of dancing former Vice Presidents. It’s just the Al Gore rhythm.
I created a dating app for chickens. It’s not my day job, it’s just to make hens meet.
Archaeologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest dinosaur tibia ever found. It’s going to be quite the shindig.
I love eye jokes. The cornea the better.
I heard that cricket matches can last for days. No rest for the wicket, I suppose.
I wish I was single for one day. Being single my whole life is exhausting.
Why do astronomers add ground beef to their shampoo? So they can have meatier showers.
Does every sentence have to mention some kind of vegetable? Not necesscelery.
I tried donating blood today… never again! Too many questions. Like, “Whose blood is this?”, “How did you get it?”, “Why is it in a bucket?”
It’s important to wear glasses during math class. It improves division.
Never buy lettuce from The Mamas and The Papas Grocery. All the leaves are brown.
You know what font they use for the letter noodles in alphabet soup? Times New Ramen.
Back in the 80s, I’d often dress up nicely, go out and order dinner for one, see movies alone, take long solitary walks… Wow, I’m really dating myself.
Know what they call the soft, sweet cheese served at American stock car racing tracks? NASCARpone.
I’m trying to get back down to my original weight. 8 lbs 9 oz.
Batman invited all the superheroes for a discussion on Bitcoin, but Superman didn’t show up. Because it was crypto night.