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You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game? Appar­ent­ly that’s not allowed in bowl­ing. I know that now. more / comment…
You know why we tell actors “Break a leg,” don’t you? Because every play has a cast. more / comment…
Some peo­ple always want their opin­ion val­i­dat­ed. Am I right? more / comment…
Know why Bernie wore those mit­tens? Tem­per­a­ture was minus 45. more / comment…
The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees”… But now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall. more / comment…
My New Year’s res­o­lu­tion is to get in shape. I choose round. (h/t Sarah Mil­li­can) more / comment…
The Col­lege Board is phas­ing out the essay por­tion of the SAT. Hence­forth the test will be known as the T. more / comment…
Elton John has bought his pet rab­bit a tread­mill. It’s a lit­tle fit bun­ny. more / comment…
I know what fish study in school. Algae­bra. more / comment…
My wife says she’s divorc­ing me because of my obses­sion with tele­vi­sion dra­mas. But will she leave? Find out next week. more / comment…
Doc­tor said I’m at risk of a heart attack due to high sodi­um intake. I took what he said with a grain of salt. more / comment…
If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tun­nel, then on to a lit­tle see­saw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that. (h/t Mil­ton Jones) more / comment…