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You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game? Apparently that’s not allowed in bowling. I know that now. more / comment…

You know why we tell actors “Break a leg,” don’t you? Because every play has a cast. more / comment…

Some people always want their opinion validated. Am I right? more / comment…

Know why Bernie wore those mittens? Temperature was minus 45. more / comment…

The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees”… But now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall. more / comment…

My New Year’s resolution is to get in shape. I choose round. (h/t Sarah Millican) more / comment…

The College Board is phasing out the essay portion of the SAT. Henceforth the test will be known as the T. more / comment…

Elton John has bought his pet rabbit a treadmill. It’s a little fit bunny. more / comment…

I know what fish study in school. Algaebra. more / comment…

My wife says she’s divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas. But will she leave? Find out next week. more / comment…

Doctor said I’m at risk of a heart attack due to high sodium intake. I took what he said with a grain of salt. more / comment…

If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that. (h/t Milton Jones) more / comment…