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I really love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back. more / comment…
Ever used WD40 to get rid of mice? It doesn’t work, but it does stop them squeaking. more / comment…
My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again. Man, I sure am lucky! I mean, first I win the lottery and now this! more / comment…
I keep calling my wife Delilah even though her name is Delia. I keep calling our lawn “the green, green grass of home.” And worst of all, every time I see a cat, I can’t help but ask, “What’s new, pussycat?” It turns out I have Tom Jones Syndrome. My doctor says it’s not unusual. more / comment…
Know who Old MacDonald called on to protect his farm? GI-GI-Joe. more / comment…
We started a band and called it “Books.” So no one can judge us by our covers. more / comment…
Called in blind today. Just couldn’t see myself going to work. more / comment…
Educated people are hot. They have more degrees. more / comment…
What do you call a woman with a bottle opener in one hand, a knife in the other hand, a pair of scissors under her arm, and a corkscrew behind her ear? Swiss Army Wife. more / comment…
What’s a cowboys favorite car? Audi, partner. more / comment…
Did you know that bees are actually allergic to pollen? They break out in hives. more / comment…
My doctor diagnosed me with a chronic tomato sauce deficiency. He prescribed medical marinara. more / comment…