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The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune. But the Chick Peas can only hum­mus one. more / comment…
I crossed a coho salmon with a sock­eye salmon. Got a cock­eyed salmon. more / comment…
What do you call a fish wear­ing a bowtie? Sofishti­cat­ed. more / comment…
Went to an open-air cafe yes­ter­day and it rained. Took me an hour to eat my soup. more / comment…
Robert de Niro is asked if he has any fam­i­ly in Salt Lake City, and he growls, “Utah kin to me?” more / comment…
An Amer­i­can, a French­man, a Mex­i­can, and a Ger­man where all attend­ing a Zoom meet­ing. The super­vi­sor asked, “Can you all see me OK?” To which they answered, “Yes” “Oui” “Si” “Ja.” more / comment…
I went to an ortho­don­tist who only charged me $1. That’s why I have buck teeth. more / comment…
My neigh­bor came over to bor­row some spaghet­ti and asked what she owed me. I said, “It’ll cost you a pret­ty penne.” more / comment…
My stim­u­lus check came on St. Patrick’s Day. That’s what I call the luck of the IRS. more / comment…
I was inter­ro­gat­ing a crab and I asked it, “What’s your name? Where do you live? What’s that on your back?” It said: “Michelle.” more / comment…
I had a dream where I was being chased by a huge pair of shoes. Catch­ing up to me was no small feet. more / comment…
What do you call Bat­man when he’s bad­ly hurt? Bruised Wayne. more / comment…